Maison Francis Kurkdjian – Amyris Pour Homme

 

source: menshealth.co.uk

If I could lock Maison Francis Kurkdjian‘s Amyris Pour Homme in a box, weigh it down with stones, and cast it into the watery graves of the Pacific Ocean, never to be found again, I would. Before you start pointing your fingers at me, rolling your eyes, and muttering under your breath, “There he goes again, he’s always ripping into clean and fresh scents, whatever”, hold it. I admit that clean and fresh isn’t my number one preference, but I do admire it when it’s well done. Case in point: I’m a big fan of MFK‘s APOM Pour Homme and Pour Femme, for their ability to infuse the potentially narcotic orange blossom through and through with lightness and freshness. And I don’t have anything against MFK – in fact, I absolutely adore Absolue Pour Le Soir and also Pour Le Matin.

However, Amyris Pour Homme is a frontrunner in the race to win the title of “Most pointless niche offering designed to scam you of your hard earned money”. Here’s what you’re getting for the grand price of £105 for 70ml of juice: a sports cologne with a citrus rosemary opening that has been done to death (and even here there’s no sparkly zest, or uplifting aroma to redeem it, it just falls flat), lots of synthetic, aquatic woods guaranteed to send you to sleep, and a wallop of Iso E Super and Ambroxan/Ambrox-something after the first 20 minutes designed to appeal to the unsuspecting modern man. I’m sorry, but didn’t Chanel Allure Homme something something flanker do that many years back? Well, you know when a niche brand has copped out when it starts selling at John Lewis. Imagine my horror when I googled its notes list, and found that it purportedly contained the following:

Top notes are rosemary and mandarin orange; middle notes are amyris, coconut, coffee, iris and milk chocolate; base notes are tonka bean and agarwood (oud).

Well, LIES. It absolutely does NOT smell like what is listed, save for the rosemary. I wish I had more to say about Amyris Pour Homme, but I’m afraid there really isn’t much else to be said, which is why I leave you with some comments that others have made on Fragrantica – obviously, I selected the views of those who shared my sentiments:

“… The used up contents of now dirty mop water along with those floor cleaning chemicals always ended up on sidewalks on every single street, every single day in PV, so there was always a very distinct smell daily, and along with the sweltering heat and humidity, this odor absolutely permeated everything along with all of the smells from the naturally growing floral and fauna. So, I am entirely in a gray area with Maison`s Amyris. On one hand, it’s distinctly reminiscent of that glorious time in my life living in paradise that had good and bad memories, and on the other, it clearly reminds me of that tiresome and neverending chore of mopping, while being olfactory overloaded with chemical florals and bleach” – Poboijosh

Was very underwhelmed. If I’m paying niche prices for a fragrance, I expect niche quality. This fragrance smells far more like a typical designer scent than niche. Glad I sampled it, saved me a lot of $$$. I generally like MFK fragrances, this one just didn’t do it for me.” – CaliDude

Very Generic Fragrance. I have Absolue Pour Le Matin and Lumiere Noir and I think they are masterpiece, but Amyris is a shame to the Brand” – MrCoolink

source: noxiusnet.com

So there you have it. I wish I could stab Amyris Pour Homme through and through with a katana, and then stand back and watch as it bleeds to death over a concrete pavement. [Thinking out loud: why am I suddenly thinking such violent thoughts towards a perfume?] Actually, that would perhaps make it smell better. Allow me to introduce the flanker: “Amyris Pour Homme Bloody Mess”. If you’re into colognes, there are far superior ones out there in the market that can be bought for a dime and a song.

~ The Smelly Vagabond

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4 thoughts on “Maison Francis Kurkdjian – Amyris Pour Homme

  1. Pingback: Armani’s New Luxurious Fragrance for Women – Armani Privé Ombre & Lumiere — eXtravaganzi

  2. Hello `The Smelly Vagabond`! Most excellent review!! I see we share the same thoughts on this travesty of a `niche` perfume, and thank you kindly for quoting my review… I got a descent chuckle out of that! -Poboijosh 😉

    • Dear Joshua,
      I’ll admit that I got a nice laugh out of your review too, you should start a blog! 🙂 Don’t you just hate it when ‘niche’ brands overcharge for something that could very well have been the result of a GC analysis?

      • Awesome, I’m glad you enjoyed it! I’ve been suggested that blog thing from a few people already, maybe I should (?) … dissecting and `properly ` reviewing a perfume is fun :D, and yes, it seriously irks the hell out`a me when a certain `niche` brand, let alone a certain famous nose of that `niche` brand that randomly got some whacky idea from sheer boredom in their (his) head to recapture a moment of some googly in love couple that they (he) saw making out or what-have-you, or however the story goes behind these `perfumes `, at Sunset near the beach, then create a chemical monstrosity `duo` and slap a $175 price tag on that thing! So yes, the answer to your query is, I thoroughly hate that…

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